Bottled up Emotions!
Just like every other human in this world, we are no exception. We experience a turbulence of emotions. Positive in the form of happiness etc. , Negative in the form of heartbreak (which could be due to any reason). When these emotions are not addressed, when we tend to keep them within us while trying to protect ourselves from shredding into pieces, these emotions bottles up. There comes a time when these emotions tends to burst up like a can of well shaken soda.
I have experienced it first hand myself and believe me it was not easy to cope up with them. It felt like I was surfing on the tsunami waves with no hope of finding a shore to land and seek shelter.
Months passed by but there seemed to be no hope. Those sleepless nights with teary eyes, a heavy heart almost on the verge of breaking, an urge to go back to people who were responsible for putting me into this loophole, sudden outburst of emotions in front of random stranger who lends an ear and no hope of getting over. I was always hoping that this may pass soon, but NO. It did not. In fact, it caught me and dragged me inside it to an extent that escape seemed impossible. I had no hope.
What caused this ?
- Lack of purpose.
I am not saying that this is the direct reason contributing to these emotions, but having a lack of purpose keeps your brain engaged with coping up with negative emotions. The more you think about something, the more obsessive you become about it. Rather than healing, you continue to hurt yourself even more.
2. Lack of pillars of support.
After Covid-19, when the pandemic deprived us of human interaction, gave birth to loneliness. I was an extrovert and meeting, spending time with my people is what used to make me happy. All my emotions were under control and as I had good quality people around all the time. But soon, I started becoming quiet. Started keeping things to myself. There was no way to give a vent to my feelings. Everyone was consumed with problems of their own and thus it made much more sense to deal it on my own.
3. Dealing with loss of someone.
Losing someone close to you can be devastating on your mental health. It may take quite some time to get over the fact that the person is no more. You are already suffering and these already bottled up emotions just creates an additional add-ons to the existing hell.
4. Getting over someone.
Oh yes, this one. Yes, this sucks. One moment, you have this person who should actually be helping you out overcoming these difficult emotions but No, life has some other plans. Boom! That person is no longer interested or they don’t see a connection or the vibes are not matching blah blah blah. You are left alone. Another problem to deal with.
What it can do to you ?
- Sudden burst of anger.
I remember when these emotions were consuming me, there were hundreds if not thousands of times when I have just taken out my anger on someone for even very minor inconvenience. I was already dealing with stuff and some things just acted as a trigger to unleash my (not something that I am proud of) anger.
2. Lack of self worth.
When you are so consumed with your emotions that could arise from multiple reasons mentioned above, they create a sense of lack of self-worth. You are consumed with the fact that you are not worthy. You start comparing yourself with others rather than taking concrete actions to improve yourself. You start feeling helpless. You seek validation from people responsible for your bad mental health. The list really goes on.
3. Oversharing
Ever found yourself of being guily for oversharing stuff as soon as someone lends an ear ? Yeah, me too. We overshare only to realise later that we should not have done that and thus adding one more tension to already existing never ending list of emotions.
4. Sudden outburst of emotions/mood swings/crying
When there is a hailstorm of negative thoughts consuming your mind, when you get overloaded with emotions, when trauma hits you and sometimes they greet you altogeter, things could only get worse if not reckless. This is where your mind burst opens up like a can of soda. You overshare, break down, get depressed, lonely and what not. I know how it feels and to be honest, it sucks.
You need to stop.
you won’t realise how quickly it will start consuming you. The moment your mind is free, it will start manifesting fake scenarios. Your mind will get burdened with just a blink of an eye. Rather than healing, these emotions will take you back on a roller coaster ride of negative endless loop of emotions. It will try it’s best to sabotage your healing process.
If you just focus on yourself and you don’t care about anyone else, that’s selfish. If you only focus on other people and not yourself, that’s self-sabotage. But if you work on yourself, if you take care of your health, your mental health, your finances, in order to be more and give more to others, that’s the balance you want.
Jay Shetty, On Purpose Podcast
You may try this.
- See what it is trying to teach you.
Rather than thinking why it is happening, try and think what this is trying to teach me. Every suffering offers a lesson to make you stronger. Some events happens to offer you a character development. Once it has served it’s purpose, it just goes away just like that. Stay patient. Focus. Yes, you do not deserve this but you can always chose how to respond to it.
2. Resurrect an abandoned hobby.
Be it art, music, weight lifting or gaming, find your hidden hobby that you may have put aside and work on it. The reason why I am saying this, is because it will put your mind in a different direction. Keeping yourself busy and productive under these is very important. Work on it.
3. Try self compassion.
Have you ever wondered that when you are consoling someone for example your friend, you seems to be very compassionate towards them, but what about yourself ? You need You. If you think that someone magical will appear in your life to make it better, remember, that person is always going to be you.
I know they are just talks. If switching between emotions would have been as easy as an On-Off switch, people wouldn’t be needing therapy at all. Being anxious, worried, sad, emotional, angry will always be part of your life. Circumstance will occur that would be out of your control but how you react to it will always be in your hand.
The good news is, no one cares about your emotions at all except for you. It will always be you. It’s your story and you should decide what’s good for you, what deserves your attention and where you want to spend your energy. Channel these emotions into something productive, try leveraging what it is trying to teach. It will take time but eventually this phase will pass too making you stronger than ever.
Cheers 🥂
